Them Biscuits

Biscuits. My nemesis.

“You wanna taste something’ come directly from Heav’n?” Chill Wills says to John Wayne as he hands him a biscuit presumably made by the striking “Mrs. Warren”, played by Yvonne DeCarlo.

“You thinkin’ what I’m thinking’?” he asks, grinning.

John Wayne is still chewing, but he nods. As soon as he can manage with his mouth full, he says, “Hire her!”

This is from the movie “McClintock!”. Just by tasting her biscuits, they give the poor widow a job-even before they see her! If John Wayne had only known the trouble those biscuits would set in motion…but then, judging by how well everyone loved Mrs. Warren’s cooking throughout the film, I have a hunch he wouldn’t have changed a thing.

What I wouldn’t give to be the gal who makes biscuits from Heaven!

I can serve my man anything, so long as I serve biscuits with it. But if the biscuits are a disappointment, even a steak dinner is a disappointment. (I am exaggerating, he’s not that way, but still!)

I would be wringing my hands in distress because for one, it was maddening to me that he wouldn’t just pat me on the back and pretend to like my rock-hard, black-bottomed home made biscuits. I’m covered in flour with tears streaking down my red-hot cheeks, for crying out loud! Just eat it!

And two, I was mad at myself because I couldn’t do this simple thing that would make him so happy. I finally resigned my marriage to mediocrity, leaving the biscuit responsibility to a can. And my husband, my hero and the love of my life, had to settle for too-often-burnt-hockey-puck biscuits courtesy of a creepy, smiley little dough boy with a chef hat. Hmmph.

But I didn’t give up, not really. I kept trying every biscuit recipe I got my hands on to please my biscuit-loving cowboy. I cooked my way through a high stack of Pioneer Woman recipes, too. Plus home-made bread, rolls, pies, cakes, muffins, brisket, chili, lasagna, authentic enchiladas from scratch (including the red sauce), and even disappearing breakfast burritos have all joined my repertoire. And after all that, the biscuits still remained a blacklisted (and often blackened) item.

Until…the year 2018 came along. For Christmas, I was given a cookbook by Mackenzie Kimbro called Roots Run Deep: Our Ranching Tradition. And in said book, I found the secret to bringing back that honeymoon look in my hubby’s eye. It was a recipe called “Refrigerator Biscuits”. And there was much rejoicing in the Landry home when I got that recipe down!

Maybe I do make biscuits every time I turn around these days. I don’t mind. It’s worth it. To be honest, I’ve tasted better ones myself, but if he likes them, they’re perfect!

So now you know what he’s getting on Valentines Day: a batch of hot, buttered home-made biscuits, made from scratch by yours truly! (Plus a kiss or two…)